Hypnobabies Birth Video

So I was having a hard time whether I wanted to share a video of Allie's birth or not. But I figured this one is pretty modest, and I finally figured out how to use my editing software to make it even more modest. I like Hypnobabies so much that I want to share and show how well it works. In the birth stories I wrote it is easy to focus on the intensity and hard parts but really the majority of the time I was very relaxed and happy. I used the Hypnobabies Home Study Course for Expectant Mothers for the birth of both of my children (see their birth stories here). In the video below I am about 9cm dilated and having a contraction/pressure wave. It really is pretty boring. I'm pretty much just sitting in a tub. I am listening to one of the hypnosis scripts and probably just saying the word "peace" in my head. I remember in the car on my way to the birth center the script was saying that all I was feeling was pressure and tightening and thinking, "Really you call that just pressure and tightening, it feels like a bit more than that to me?", and then when I got in the tub and was able to completely relax I thought, "Hey it really is just pressure and tightening. How cool is that." Between contractions I was able to chat with my mom and midwife.



I first avoided hypnosis as a childbirth tool because I thought it was too hokey and new age, but I came across some reviews on Amazon for some HypnoBirthing programs and they seemed really positive, so I bought Marie Mongan's book HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing and read it, and listened to the sample track that were provided with the CD that came with the book. After reading the book I realized that self hypnosis wasn't really that kooky. It was simply visualization and conditioning your body to react, in this case relax, on special cues, both things I had done in college for x-country and track. It also seemed that something I used for athletic competition would work for childbirth since it is an endurance event as well. After further research I found out that there are a few different hypnosis for childbirth programs and the consensus online seemed to be that Hypnobabies was the most complete program and worked the best. (Here is a great link on the comparison of HypnoBirthing and Hypnobabies.) So I ordered the home study and started listening to the scripts. I admit that the first script I listened to was pretty corny and I started having doubts. But I continued doing the practices and listening to the scripts and the rest of them were very relaxing, and worked very well at helping me not be scared about birth, and preparing myself to give birth. I did not take any other childbirth class. The Hypnobabies course is very complete and really has everything you need to know. My one complaint with it is that it recommends the Brewer diet (massive amounts of protein) and from what I've read, most childbirth professionals agree that the Brewer diet is too extreme, but if you ignore that the program is great.

My experience was that it made both of my children's births almost painless. They were not easy, but I can't relate with comments about birth being the most painful thing ever experienced, or when someone talks about early labor being painful. I can relate to talk about being completely exhausted. I think Hypnobabies is an excellent way to prepare for childbirth. Even if you want an epidural, things don't always go as planned, so having extra tools available is great, and it may even surprise you how well it works. It is also still useful. I use the techniques when I am tired and want to relax, or when I am not feeling well.

Allie’s Birth Story

I apologize ahead of time. I think I write the longest birth stories ever, but I want to remember every detail so that is why it is a novel.

So after thinking I could have a baby any day for an entire month I’d pretty much given up on the baby ever coming (my first daughter came at 37 weeks so I thought it was likely I would go early again). Since the beginning of my pregnancy I’d always thought Sunday would be a good day since traffic is light and Floyd and most family would be off work. And the prior four Sundays the baby would trick me into thinking something might develop. I’d get more Braxton Hicks, more cramping, some back pain. If I had been a first time mom I might have thought I was in labor a few times especially when the Braxton Hicks would come fairly regularly all day long, but it would all disappear when I went to bed. So Saturday night we went out to eat. I put Selena to bed and went to sit on my knee chair and get some uncomfortable cramping going, that would just go away as soon as I went to sleep. Got some cramps, went to bed, and they went away.

I woke up at 6am Sunday morning, 10 days after my due date, thinking something might be going on, but I’d been having dreams of being in labor for weeks so I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming it, but then I felt a definite pressure wave that was real and thought cool. I drifted in and out of sleep for the next 30 minutes and at around 6:30 decided that I’d had quite a few real waves, maybe 5 minutes apart, and I should probably call my midwife. So I got up told Floyd what was going on. I waited to have one more to make sure they didn’t go away when I stood and called Ann, my midwife. She was ready to get up and leave because she lives about 50 minutes away, but I didn’t think I was that far along yet, so I told her I would call her when I thought she should leave. Then I called my parents and told them to come to my house so my dad could watch Selena. Well now that I had been up and moving they were coming faster about 2 – 3 minutes, so I called Ann back and told her to leave, and called my parents back and told them to meet us there. Then I went upstairs to gather some last stuff for my bag, and Selena and I took a shower. After we were all ready we left at about 7:30.

I listened to my Hypnobabies scripts in the car and while I would rather not have been in the car, the pressure waves were easily manageable. I was really looking forward to getting in the tub. We got to the birth center and Ann wasn’t there yet. She was about 10 min away, and my parents were about 25 min away. So I sat in the car, listening to my hypnosis till my midwife got there. When she did, we went straight inside and she asked me to lie on the bed so I could get checked. I was around 8 cm. She started the tub and I got in. After a few pressure waves I could feel the difference of being in the water. The intensity was diminished by about half. It was so nice. My mom soon showed up and I was chatting with her and my midwife between waves while listening to my scripts. My mother-in-law also showed up a little bit later. The grandpa’s were in charge of Selena. She did manage to sneak into the room a couple times and wanted to get in the tub with me. It was cute.

Around 9:45 I started feeling a little pushy. So I rolled over to my hands and knees and started pushing some. I was doing a good job remembering to breathe through the waves. At around 10:30 I started feeling the baby descending. I was so excited I thought the baby was coming. I even said aloud, “Here comes the baby”. But it was just my water. My midwife checked me and said I was complete, but there was some meconium, which can be a signal of distress, but is also common in late babies. So when the baby came it would need some suctioning. I was bummed that I wasn’t done, but kept on pushing. The waves became more intense after my water broke, and I started pushing harder, but I was still doing a good job remembering to breathe. But the waves didn’t seem to be coming very rhythmically. I would get a strong one, and then a break, then a weak one and that would barely go away, and then a strong one again. It was very frustrating because I felt like it was wasting my energy, but not helping me get the baby out. I tried lots of different positions: squatting, hands and knees, sitting on my knees, hanging over the edge of the tub, but it really didn’t feel like I was doing anything. Ann checked me again and said that now there was a lip. I tried pushing a few times while she held the lip, but the baby still didn’t come, and that was really uncomfortable.

At around 11:45 I asked if I could try the birth stool as that is what worked with Selena. So I got out of the tub and on the stool. It did seem to make my waves stronger and the fake ones seemed to disappear, but still the baby would not descend. Ann said it felt like the baby kept on hitting my pelvic bone. She said there was room lower, but the baby wasn’t going that way, like it wasn’t tucking its chin or something. She suggested I purple push and see if that worked. So I did. Then I started getting really tired and getting a cramp in my arm. I had been guzzling water and they brought me some juice. Now I was getting extremely tired and told Ann I wasn’t sure how long I could do this. I also was feeling that my body was fighting itself and the baby was going nowhere. I got up on the bed and tried some pushes on my knees while lifting my belly. Then she had me lie flat on my back and push. She tried manually opening my pelvic bones, and she tried nudging the baby back up, but she was stuck, and wouldn’t budge up or down. Apparently once I got on my back Ann started detecting decelerating heart tones, but at the time I did not know it. I guess if I had thought to ask why they were putting oxygen on me I would have known. But as long as I stayed off my back the baby seemed to be doing fine. But nothing was working so at this point we decided to transfer to the hospital. At the time I thought we were transferring because I had given up, and later I was starting to feel guilty that I didn’t try hard enough, but later Ann told me about the decelerating heart tones and that she had been subtly leading me in the direction of transferring me to the hospital.

So I got in the front seat of her car, and Floyd got in the back. By now I had pretty much given up, but my body hadn’t, so I was still having contractions every 2-3 minutes and despite my best efforts I couldn’t not push. So I am riding in the car, attempting to push the baby out. Meanwhile she is checking me with the Doppler at all the stoplights.

We get to the hospital and get a wheelchair, which I kneel on backwards and get pushed through the emergency room wearing a diaper and a t-shirt. I do eventually get something draped over me, but still I’m sure it was a sight. The lady at emergency wanted me to go to the emergency room to have the baby, but we tell her it is very doubtful that I’m actually going to manage to get the baby out while I’m pushing since I’ve been trying for a long time now, and that they expect us up in labor and delivery. We manage to convince her that Floyd can fill out the paper work and we needed to leave quick. We get in the elevator and there was some young guy in there and I’m still trying to push a baby out. I felt pretty bad for him.

We finally get up to labor and delivery and the midwife who I was transferred to checks me and asks me if I want an epidural. I tell them I don’t care what they do to me at this point. The bed in labor and delivery is tiny and it is really hard to maneuver on. Meanwhile the nurse is trying to put an IV in my arm while I’m having a contraction and telling me to be still. I ask her to wait. She makes some comment about the sooner it is in the sooner I’ll have relief, but I figure I’ve been doing this for hours I can handle a few more minutes. The anesthesiologist comes in and I do manage to be still during the contraction that comes while she puts the epidural in. I have a few more contractions and finally I stop feeling them and get a break. But of course the first one I have that I don’t feel is when the baby’s heart rate starts to drop. So of course I start crying and feel totally guilty for getting the epidural and hurting my poor baby. It might have been the fact that I was laying on my back that was causing the heart decelerations and not the epidural. But because I didn’t know about the earlier heart problems I was convinced it a reaction to the epidural. Ann tried to tell me it wasn’t, but I thought she was just trying to make me feel better. But they roll me to one side and she does better, but then has problems again, so they roll me to the other side and that seems to do the trick.

They check me and I’m totally swollen from all the pushing and she is too high so they don’t think a vacuum will work. They also think she is completely posterior. My heart rate is too high so they can’t give me medications to make the contractions stop and prevent the baby’s heart rate decelerations. Sometimes they give pitocin to strengthen the contractions to encourage turning but because the Allie was struggling that was out as well. So caesarian it is. At this point I was so worried about the baby I just want to get her out.

Finally the surgeon is ready and they wheel me in there, but make Floyd wait till they finish prepping me before he can come in. I didn’t like being alone and it was kind of scary being put behind the curtain and being all numb and not being able to feel anything anymore. Floyd comes in and the surgeons are shaking me back and forth. I think that is when they were cutting me and pulling me apart. I ask them to tell me when they pull the baby out. They say I’ll hear a cry and sure enough a few seconds later I do. It takes them a few seconds to get her all the way out and tell us girl. It made me smile that Selena would have a little sister. They bring Allie over to a table that I manage to get a view of by moving the curtain and they suction her and stick tubes in her and she is crying and crying and pooping everywhere. They tell us she is 8lbs 2oz, and that is after pooping a ton. And now I’m crying too because I was supposed to bring her into the world peacefully and she should be in my arms and I should be able to see her and hold her, but instead she is being surrounded by strangers doing stuff to her. When they are done Floyd brings her over to me and I get to look at her, she is beautiful. She has a cone head despite not being born vaginally. She doesn’t have any bumps or bruises like my nephew did when he got stuck.

Then they tell Floyd to go away while they finish sewing me up. I don’t think it took that long but it seemed like forever before I got to see my baby. I come in the room and she is being poked and prodded some more and still crying. They bring her over to me and she is anxious to nurse and latches on easy and nurses. Finally I feel like all is right in the world and I’m so thrilled to be holding my beautiful, big, baby girl.

Apparently she was completely posterior and her chin wasn’t tucked. At the time I got conflicting information on her positioning and didn’t realize she was completely posterior as well as not having her chin tucked. There was really no way she could come out in that position. By not having her chin tucked there was no way for her to rotate. I really don’t know when she got like that because I’m pretty sure she was stuck anterior the prior week. But she had been flipping posterior every time I lay down, until around my due date, so she had a tendency to feel comfortable in the posterior position. I was really conscientious of baby positioning so it is frustrating that despite my best efforts she ended up in a bad position.

Obviously I am so thankful that the technology and procedures exist that brought Allie into this world fairly easily and safely because who knows what would have happened had it not existed. It probably wouldn’t have turned out well. But I still felt that it was so unfair that things didn’t go how they were supposed to and it has led to many tears. It is hard to pinpoint exactly what has made me so upset. I was disappointed that I didn’t get my desired ideal, beautiful birth, and it was annoying to be in the hospital where we were bothered every hour by nurses poking the baby or me. But it was more than just the disappointment of failed expectations. I think the thing I missed the most was the after birth high. When Selena was born I was exhausted but I had a feeling of exhilaration and energy and even though I was tired I couldn’t sleep and I stayed up most of the night just staring at my baby in awe. But this time I was exhausted, could barely stay awake, kept throwing up, was puffy and swollen, couldn’t feel anything below my chest, couldn’t eat for 24 hrs (due to nausea) despite being starving, couldn’t move for 12 hrs, couldn’t walk for almost 3 days, and it all just seemed so wrong and so unfair. They say you get a bunch of good hormones right after birth that you don’t get when you have a caesarian and I think I really missed those good hormones.

I do not regret my decision to deliver at the birth center. Although transferring wasn’t the most pleasant experience, it makes me feel better that it wasn’t an intervention, or adverse drug reaction that led to the need for a c-section. I felt very safe in Ann’s care and never felt that not being at the hospital put Allie or me in danger. I am so thankful that I was using Hypnobabies. The first part of my labor was so easy and was exactly how I visualized it (except for the end of course). I had visualized from the beginning that I would wake up in the morning being in my birthing time. I would have enough time to get to the birth center and I would start feeling pushy an hour or two after arriving. When things did get rough it really helped me stay mentally calm. One of the affirmations I listened to every day was, “I will accept whatever my birthing time brings me,” and unfortunately I had to.

Floyd was very sweet. I hated the parts when he was separated from me. He did a great job taking care of Allie and rocking and cuddling her and changing her diapers. Allie would get frustrated nursing and cry so much she wouldn’t latch, and Floyd would calm her down and then quickly hand her to me so I could get her on the boob. We were a good team. My little Allie is doing good and I love cuddling and kissing her.

Natural Birth Story Using Hypnosis

Selena’s Birth Story


During my pregnancy I really enjoyed reading birth stories online. Reading other people’s birth stories helped me know what to expect and helped me make decisions on how I wanted my baby’s birth to happen. This story is targeted towards a couple of different audiences including my family and friends, the Hypnobabies and Babycenter online message boards/groups I visit, as well as any other person who, like me, scours the internet for birth stories. So I am going to offer a little background before I get to the actual story.

I am 25 years old and have been married to my husband Floyd for a little over 5 years. Selena is our first child. My pregnancy went fairly well. I am a small person 5’1” and 102 lbs pre-pregnancy so was constantly hearing comments about how it might be hard for me to give birth. I gained 30lbs during my pregnancy. I ran about 15-20 miles a week until I was 6 months pregnant. After 6 months running became very tiring and it seemed to make the baby sink really low which was highly uncomfortable.

I started the pregnancy visiting a family practice doctor and planned on delivering at Good Samaritan hospital in Puyallup. A few months into my pregnancy I decided that I wanted to do a natural, drug-free delivery and thought that the Birthing Inn in Tacoma looked like a really neat place to do that, but since I had already had a relationship with my doctor, I liked her, and she was supportive of my birth choices I figured I would stick with her. A couple months later I learned that my insurance didn’t cover 100% of the hospital visit, and I would save a significant amount of money if I switched to the Birthing Inn, so I did. Switching providers when I was 6 months pregnant was a little stressful, but because visits are more frequent at the end I was able to see all four midwives in the practice before I delivered.

Instead of taking local childbirth classes I purchased the Hypnobabies home study course online. The Hypnobabies course involves putting yourself in a positive mindset about birth and labor, and practicing deep relaxation techniques. The course came with a set of CD’s to listen to every day for a 5 week period. I purchased the course when I was 19 weeks pregnant and listened to it about 2-3 times a week for the rest of my pregnancy.

So on Friday March 9th (3 weeks and 1 day before my due date) I went to work as normal. I was having quite a bit of discharge that day and thought that it could be my mucus plug, but wasn’t sure. I felt really good that day and had quite a bit of energy. Which was kind of odd because usually by the end of the week I was exhausted. I attributed it to the fact that I took my dog for a walk the day before and had jogged a little bit and it felt pretty good.

At 4:30PM I got up to leave work and felt a small gush. I figured it was just a large amount of discharge. Then I took another step and felt another gush. So I grabbed my things and went downstairs to the bathroom. By the time I got there my jeans were all wet. I sat on the toilet and a lot of liquid was pouring out of me and I was pretty sure it wasn’t urine. So I figured it probably was my water. So I caught a little in some toilet paper and smelled it to make sure it wasn’t urine, and if it was my water, that it was clear. Well it definitely wasn’t urine and it was clear. I wasn’t sure if I should call Floyd to come pick me up or if I should just drive home. I hadn’t had any contractions so I figured I would drive myself home real quick, and if I did have contractions I could just pull over and call Floyd.

I drove home and had a two Braxton Hicks contractions but they weren’t any different than the contractions I had been having for previous two months, and I frequently got them at the end of the day when I was tired.

I got home and went straight to the bathroom and yelled for Floyd, telling him that I needed him. He was taking a nap so he was a little bit annoyed at being woken up. He asked me what I wanted and I told him just to come. He comes into the bathroom and I tell him that I think my water is leaking. He asks me what that means. I said that it means I will probably be going into labor soon. We kind of sit there for a second and wonder what to do. I ask him to bring me the piece of paper the midwife gave me at my appointment on Wednesday about when to call. The piece of paper said to call if your water breaks, immediately if you are Group B Strep positive. Well I had just taken the strep test on Wednesday and hadn’t got back the results. So I figured I should call and ask what the results were. The clinic was closed at this time, so I left a message and waited for the midwife to call me back.

Meanwhile Floyd is on the Internet trying to figure out exactly what is going on, while I’m still on the toilet. I’m still in a little bit of denial and figure it will be a while before contractions to start. I know that typically they start soon, but can take up to 24 hours and I figure I’ll be in the latter category. Floyd comes in and is in the same frame of mind as me and tells me it will probably be a while.

The midwife calls back and I tell her about my water breaking, she asks me to describe it, so I do. She figures that my water probably did break. She says that the results of my test aren’t back yet so they have to treat me like I’m positive and because I’m 6 ½ hours from being 37 weeks pregnant, I’m not considered full term, and that means I have to go to Saint Joseph’s hospital (not the Birthing Inn) to get antibiotics. I ask her if there is any way we can do the test again and get an immediate result so we know, or if there is any way we can hold off till midnight since I’m not having any contractions yet. The really ironic thing is that my due date could easily have been March 24th instead of March 31st but I had made a point at the beginning of my pregnancy to have my due date pushed back because my cycle is 5 weeks, not the 4 weeks they usually use to calculate the due date. I had really wanted the later date because I didn’t want to go past my due date and be pressured to get induced. So I asked if we could go back to the original due date. She said no, but that she would try to see if the hospital could do the test or if she could figure something out.

She called me back, by this time it was around 6. I had sent Floyd out to get pads so I could get off the toilet without fear of making a mess. She said that I could come to the Birthing Inn and she could give me some antibiotics to tide me over and then we could leave and come back after midnight when we were ready. We decided to meet her there at 7:30.

So I hung up the phone and told Floyd when he got back. Then I called my mother and told her what was going on. She didn’t quite believe me that my water broke. She said that she had thought her water broke with my sister, but it didn’t really. Everyone was kind of in denial, especially because I had been practicing being very patient and assuming that I was going to go past my due date, so the fact that this was happening 3 weeks early was very disconcerting.

So because it was 3 weeks early I hadn’t packed my bags yet. That was what I was going to do that weekend. So I tell Floyd that we need to pack up our stuff just in case we don’t make it back home. So while I’m telling him this I realize that I’m not feeling so great and I’m on my knees leaning over the couch. I try to get up and do some stuff, but it really isn’t that comfortable. So we head up stairs to pack our bags and I’m still feeling uncomfortable. I try to do some stuff but it really isn’t working. So once again I’m on my knees leaning against the bed. I tell Floyd that I think I’m having contractions and he’ll need to get the bags ready. So I tell him what to put in the bags and he goes and gets everything. Then he pulls out a pair of racing flats out of the closet and tells me how cool they are and how light they are and how I should feel how light they are. And I’m just thinking, “What does this have to do with anything?” But I feel his shoes and agree yes they are cool, and yes they are light. I guess he was a little overwhelmed by the whole situation and was trying to act like everything was normal.

We get the bags packed and head down stairs. Floyd has to take something outside and the door to the garage gets jammed so he has to spend 5 minutes trying to close it, while I’m inside trying to slow down the contractions. We finally get the dog in the house and the door closed and get in the car and head off. So now I have a dilemma. I have been practicing for months to get myself in the frame of mind to have a fast, easy, comfortable birthing, but right now I don’t want it to go fast because I need to wait till midnight. So I’m wondering if I should put in my “birthing day” CD’s or not. I decide to listen to pregnancy affirmations to get relaxed, but not the birthing day ones so I don’t go too fast. I had taken a couple “splits” on my contractions when we were packing, and now that I’m in the car I continue to take them. I’m having contractions about every 2-3 minutes 30-45 seconds long. This is kind of concerning. There wasn’t any period of time where they were far apart. I am not really using my off switch (the cue that relaxes you the most, where your muscles become immobile) because I’m timing my contractions. Instead I’m in “center” (the cue where you are relaxed but can move and talk) and keep repeating “peace” (the cue that allows you to relax no matter what state you are in) throughout the pressure waves.

We get to the Birthing Inn and I tell the midwife that I’m not sure if I’ll make it to midnight. She is surprised that the contractions are so close together but she says they aren’t that long and I’m walking around and coherent so she doesn’t seem too concerned. We go upstairs to get me checked out. This was the first and pretty much the only time I was checked for dilation. I was 2cm and 90% effaced which was a relief. She says its usually takes an hour per centimeter of dilation so I will most likely deliver after midnight and everything will be fine. She feels my belly and guesses that Selena will be about 6.5lbs. She then hooks me up to monitor my contractions for about 15 minutes. My contractions are right on top of each other. She says they won’t get any closer together, just stronger. Floyd does a great job, because any time she asks me a question during a contraction I totally ignore her and do my Hypnobabies thing. Floyd explains to her what I’m doing so that she understands what is going on.

She then asks me if we want to go home and come back, or what we want to do. She has had a long day and really doesn’t want to stay. But we live about 30-40 minutes away and since my contractions are already on top of each other I wasn’t sure how I would know when to come back, so I ask her if we can stay. She says yes, but that she’ll just pretend I’m not there, since I’m technically not supposed to be there. We go downstairs. She hooks up an IV and gives me the antibiotics. The pressure waves are still coming, but are definitely manageable with my center switch and peace cues. She takes my blood pressure and its pretty high 140 over something, but she says that’s normal for the first blood pressure, she figures it will be down again next time she checks it.

So we are in the really lovely birthing suite. Floyd puts the birthing day CD in the CD player and we listen to it out loud. After awhile I ask Floyd to prepare the bathtub and I get in and it feels great. He opens up the lavender scents but it is way too strong so I tell him to close it. Soon my parents arrive and my mom comes in and tries to talk to me while Floyd is out talking to my dad, and I pretty much ignore her. She asks me if she wants me to leave her alone and I say yes, so she leaves the room, but I didn’t mean that I wanted her to leave, just not talk to me. I get a little stressed out, but I call Floyd’s name and he comes back in and fixes the tub’s temperature for me and stays with me.

The midwife periodically comes in and checks the baby’s heartbeat. Selena’s heartbeat stayed between 140-150 throughout the entire thing. She is such a tough baby. It is really cool because the monitor she has can go under water. She takes my blood pressure and it is way down around 110 over something. Around 10:30 the pressure waves are getting stronger. I really have problems being in “off” because when a wave comes I don’t like my butt on the bottom of the tub, so I kind of arch my back, but that makes me a little tense. At this point I’m kind of whimpering during each one. I found it easier to visualize myself relaxing from an external point of view than an internal one, where the internal viewpoint is the way I practiced. Floyd was really good and used the “relax” cues and that helped tremendously. Around 11:30 I tell Floyd to get the midwife.

She comes in and asks me if I’ve been in the tub the whole time and suggests that I get out and go to the bathroom. So I get out and get on the toilet. I don’t have to go, but I start feeling pushy and I start groaning. I get off the toilet and get on my hands and knees. Everyone suggests I move to the bed, but I’m not sure I can. Meanwhile, Floyd decided to call his dad back and is talking on the phone. I tell him to get off and help me. I’m in transition and am getting kind of snappy. I move to the bed and she checks me and says I think she says that I’m not quite all the way dilated but the baby is ready to come.

Meanwhile I’m having really overwhelming pushing urges, but don’t quite know what to do. I ask if it is supposed to feel like I need to poop and she says yes. So I start pushing, but I’m not very effective at it. Sometime during this time, the birth assistant arrives and my mother-in-law. Floyd starts asking his mom questions about her drive up, but I yell at them to be quiet. After a while the midwife and birth assistant start giving me some more direction, reminding me to put my chin down, and to make low sounds instead of just yelling. What finally works is to hold my breath while I push and then breathe really hard while I catch my breath enough to do it again. I usually would get about 3 good pushes in for each contraction. The Hypnobabies birthing CD is in the background and she is telling me to “breathe the baby down ”, “just let the baby slide right out” and I think that it suggests doing this between contractions. What she is saying is totally not what I’m going through. The pushing urges are so overwhelming and tiring that I need the breaks to rest. I do think her voice is soothing though, and helps me rest and relax during the breaks, but I’m not about to push during these breaks. I think the CD annoyed everyone else in the room because it was so opposite of what was happening, but I think it helped me a little. If I had listened to the CD before I went into labor it might have helped more, but I was going to wait till I was 38 weeks before listening to it and since she came early I never go the chance.

The midwife asks me if I want to try pushing in the tub, but this was something we were going to ask about when we made our birth plan at my next appointment in a week, so I hadn’t really thought about it yet, and didn’t know how it would work and where I would get any leverage so I said no. So then she suggests I try lying on my side with my leg in the air. I don’t really like this position and apparently I wasn’t bringing my knee to my chest in the right angle and she keeps telling me to move my leg one way, but I keep doing it wrong. Eventually I start to do it right, and start to get the hang of it. At one point the midwife stretches my perineum and that really didn’t feel good. During this whole time I was really hot and gulping water down. Floyd was fanning me and at one point said his arm was getting tired. The midwife teases him and says that compared to what I was doing he had no right to say he was tired.

After trying this for a while they give me a rope to pull on while I push. This really seems to help and gives me leverage. I keep asking if I’m even doing anything. Everyone keeps encouraging me and telling me I am. They say that they can see her hair. I am still doubting that all this work I am doing is actually accomplishing anything. Most of the birth stories I read, said that pushing was a relief from the dilation stage, and only lasts around 30 min and I’m pretty sure I’ve been pushing longer than that. This is way more intense than anything I went through before transition.

After pulling on the rope they move me to a birth stool, and I try that. The stool really helps. Floyd sits behind me while I’m pushing. Finally her head starts to come out. I keep asking if I’m even doing anything, they put my hand down there so I can feel her head, and I realize that yes, she is coming. I remember thinking that this is the last mile, and then I get kind of depressed because I tend to slow down the last mile. (Yes, I am weird) My mom switches with Floyd so that he can watch her come out. Her head moves down and I feel the ring of fire, I think I even comment on it. Her head is halfway out for about 3 or 4 contractions and all that time I experience the ring of fire. Then her head comes out, and my mom said that the midwife had to move the umbilical cord to the correct side. The next contraction comes and I push really hard, say “ouch” really loud, and she slides right out and is born at 1:02AM. It was such a relief and felt so good for her to be out. I look down but I don’t have my glasses on so I can’t really see anything. Someone gets my glasses and Selena is down on the ground amidst a pool of blood, but she is relatively clean. Her head is very cone shaped and she is very alert and looking around wondering what the heck is going on. After a few seconds she lets out a little wail. I think the midwife brings something over to help her breathe, then they place her in my arms and I hold her. I am so exhausted. After a few minutes Floyd cuts the cord and they take her from me and give her to Floyd. I get off the birth stool and lay on the bed to deal with the after birth stuff.

It was a little while before the placenta came out. I really didn’t want to have to do anything because I was so tired, but I did have to give a couple pushes. Apparently I tore badly, almost all the way to the rectum but fortunately it went off to the side. I didn’t know I tore until the midwife told me. I don’t think I tore, or at least not that bad, until her shoulders came out because her shoulders were bigger than her head, and her head came out pretty slowly. The midwife said she could sew it up, but she didn’t have a lot of drugs, and she would rather me transfer to the hospital to get it done. She said she sewed someone up a few weeks before and felt really bad because it was so awful and uncomfortable for the woman. Unfortunately going to the hospital involved taking an ambulance ride. I was so tired, and was done, so I said going to the hospital was fine. I did make a comment about how expensive the ambulance would be though. Typical me.

I think she needed to get me patched up enough to transfer, so she started doing stuff. She gave me some drugs through my IV, but my mom said it didn’t work and the bag never emptied. She also gave me some local anesthetic. I think I used my hypnosis, but I’m not sure, it might have just been that I was really tired and relaxed anyways, but whatever she was doing didn’t bother me at all, so she ended up sewing me up there, and I didn’t have to go to the hospital. My mom got to play nurse and hand her the tools and hold the light for her. I think she thought that was kind of fun.

After about an hour, hour and a half, I was finally all stitched up and given ice and ready to take care of Selena again. It was kind of a bummer because I missed out on what was going on because of the post birth stuff, and the fact that I was so tired. The birth assistant came and gave me a nipple shield and told me that because Selena came early she might have a weak suck, and because I have inverted nipples it will be hard for her to latch on and I should use the shield. From what I read the experts really hate the nipple shields and said avoid them at all costs, but other people really love them. But I just did what I was told and Selena latched on and sucked. I am still using the nipple shield to nurse and am torn between trying to wean her from it or just keep using it forever.

When they went to weigh Selena, Floyd, of course, starts taking bets on what her weight is. I guessed 6lbs 6oz. Floyd was the closest at 7lbs. She was 7lbs 6oz and 18 ½ inches long. I couldn’t believe it. How could a baby that big fit inside me? The midwife and birth assistant were really confused because she really didn’t show any signs of being pre-term. They ask me if I was sure about my due date, and I assured them I was. We used an ovulation test so I’m 99% sure the due date was correct.

Eventually all of our family left. The midwife and birth assistant came to check on us a few times, they left at 6am and said we were free to stay as long as we wanted, but to know that a pregnancy class would be out in the seating area at 9am. I slept some, but mostly I just stared at my beautiful daughter. My throat was sore from all the yelling I did and I was so exhausted that it was really hard to get out of bed and go to the bathroom, which I had to do frequently. But by the morning I felt okay and we left the birth center at around 9 o’clock. Because she was born at the birth center we had to get her to see a doctor within 48 hours, and because she was born on Saturday at 1am that was kind of a pain because the doctor’s office wasn’t open. We took her to the same-day clinic on Saturday afternoon and it was funny because all the receptionists were asking me, “What are you doing here?” And, “she wasn’t really born today was she?” Unfortunately the doctor who was qualified to see her, got called out to deliver a baby so we had to come back on Sunday. After she saw her, she too said Selena looked great, and asked if my due date was correct.

Overall the experience was really great. The Hypnobabies slogan is an easy, fast, comfortable birthing and mine wasn’t easy or comfortable, but it wasn’t really until the pushing stage where it became really hard. I think the hardest part was not knowing how long it was going to last. I remember after the pressure waves got really strong, thinking that I can do this for another hour or so, but what if it is another 6 hours. But the entire thing was only 8.5 hours from when my water broke till she was born, and the first hour and a half I didn’t have any contractions. The last hour and a half of pushing was definitely the hardest.

I think the fact that I had the midnight “deadline” somewhat hindered the process and made it a little harder to relax. I think it might have gone even faster had I not had it hanging over my head. I don’t really understand how hypnosis is supposed to work during the pushing stage. It is such an intense, overwhelming urge that takes so much energy I’m not sure how, especially as a first time mom, not knowing what to expect, you could be able to mentally anesthetize your midsection, but it did help me relax between contractions.

I really am glad I did transfer to the birth center. I couldn’t handle any conversations going on around me and I’m sure at a hospital I wouldn’t have had any control over that. Overall I was very satisfied with Hypnobabies, the Birthing Inn, and Floyd was awesome as my birth partner. It’s funny because I do think the whole ordeal becomes sort of diminished from your memory, because I remember thinking immediately after that I’m never going to do that again, but two weeks later I know I will.